When we find ourselves in social situations or trying to find new relationships, it can be very helpful to develop skills that help us to be more successful when meeting new people. Truly being effective in this area can be challenging because it can sometimes seem intimidating interacting with people that we do not know. In addition, it can sometimes seem like navigating through a maze when trying to figure out what to say or what to do.
For most people, when we interact with other people, we want them to accept and like us. There are three simple things we can focus on to improve the odds of this outcome happening and those are to be fun, to be funny, and to be friendly.
According to the pleasure principle, people are always are either seeking pleasure or avoiding pain. If we believe and understand that principle, we can begin to understand how to modify our behavior in interactions to create the best results. If people are very driven to seek out pleasure, then the more pleasure we can bring to an interaction, the more favorable we will be. And the best way to bring pleasure to an interaction is to be fun.
Fun is actually a very broad term and can mean very different things to different people. Fun is different between men and women and fun will be different for different age groups. The key is to truly understand the psychology of the people that you interact with to understand what they would consider as fun and then try to lead and keep interactions in that area when meeting new people.
Being funny can help tremendously when meeting new people. Many women say that sense of humor is a must in a man. By being able to make women laugh in social situations, a man is more likely to get and secure their attention and this will better position them to create interest and attraction.
Men probably do not put as much weight on sense of humor as women do, but they do typically like a woman that is more fun, friendly, and approachable. When a woman shows her sense of humor, a man will feel more comfortable in the interaction which can motivate him to invest more.
It may sound basic, but it is critical to be friendly when meeting new people. That is worth pointing out because we can often think we are being friendly but we are not actually presenting ourselves as being friendly to the people we are interacting with. For example, a woman may be approached by a man and if she does not smile, ask him any questions, or show any indicators of interest, he may think she is not friendly and not interested. And on the other side, a man can approach a woman but if he does not smile and show that he is friendly, the woman may put her guard up because a man is interacting with her that does not appear to be friendly.