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While it can be debatable how important looks are when meeting new people, what is not debatable is how important physical attraction is. The difference between the two is that looks is only somebody’s physical appearance and physical attraction is impacted by many factors with physical appearance being one of those.
Relationships are fairly complex, and in most cultures, they are a choice. We chose who we spend time with. We chose who we get close to. And we chose who we let into our life. When we go through the process to determine who we chose for new relationships, we look at many different factors. One of the factors that we base most of our initial decision on is the level of attraction that we have with the other person.
What is Attraction?
If attraction is not just looks, what else is it? Attraction can be most easily described as curiosity. In most cases, it is curiosity applied to all of our senses. A person attracted to another is curious and would like to see more of the other, they would like to hear more, they would like to touch more, smell more, etc.
Camp Fire Analogy
If we look at a relationship as a camp fire, we can think of attraction being the fuel that helps to start the fire. If we only have a pile of wood and matches, it may be difficult to start a fire. But if we add some fuel like lighter fluid to the wood, then we are likely to easily start a fire and create tremendous momentum to establish a steady fire. Attraction is to relationships as fuel is to a fire as they both help tremendously to get things going.
If we stick with the analogy, the fire will not last long if all we have is the fuel. It is just as important to have a good foundation of wood. The wood in the fire is the rapport that we have with the other person in our new relationships. A relationship with attraction mostly and no rapport will light up quickly but will burn out fairly quickly and not go anywhere. On the other extreme, a fire with only wood, or a relationship with mostly rapport and no attraction will have trouble getting going. There has to be a mix of fuel and wood; there has to be a mix of attraction and rapport.
We Have Control
It is easy for people to see the importance in physical attraction. What is most people don't realize is how much control they have in the area of creating and maintaining it. This is because we typically believe that we look a certain way and this either creates attraction or it does not. But since attraction is not based solely on looks, this is simply not the case. By working on how we carry ourselves, how we interact with others, and what we say and don't say, we can push certain physical attraction buttons in the people we interact with.
And to add to that, even when it does come to looks, we also have a good amount of control over that area too. By spending time, energy, and sometimes money in the areas of grooming, physical fitness, and fashion, we can change and improve our appearance and looks to drive improvements in the level of physical attraction that we are able to create with others.
Launch Pad Solutions provides Relationship Coaching to individuals and helps them to find more success in personal relationships.